Words... Bloody words!!!

When I compose I write somewhere in the middle of an almost blank notebbok. And yes my notebooks are usually blank because i love erasing what I write. Its nasty and a flawed process but I feel it catalyzes the newness in ideas. Ideas are most celebrated by blank brain and paper.
I love to write when its dark or when it rains or when the world acts to be still. It gives me a feeling that the world is waiting for my words (its good to flatter yourself in this mean world). It makes me write like a child. Like a little child who simultaneously looks at her watch and the paper in the last few seconds of the examination hour. This sort of self-constructed stillness inspires. It gives you time to deconstruct and reconstruct when you write.
But I don't love the words that I write. I wish I had a thought pen or something like that where I could register all the swimming ideas. Because I hate words and what I hate more is the crafting process. I love the crudeness of thoughts. Words simply puncture the beauty of the raw.
For example (i have a habit of giving example coz i feel that people made me understand science this way.. so it must be the best way available). Coming back to the example:
A guy is looking at a really stunning girl (a Megan Fox or sumthn). Looking at her majestic, inspiring, supergorgeous beauty. (U know what I mean.. we're talking shallow here). There's an instant unstoppable train of thoughts that starts. You think about the girl. About yourself. About you and the girl. About how she's out of your damn league. Who all are actually in your league. About how hot girls don't always fall for gorgeous men so may be
you've got a chance. There's no bloody brake in this train of thoughts and there shouldn't be. You want to hit the pervert track. You hit it. And hit it hard. AND NOW writing this little tale of random pervertism is like.. Your mom asking you "What are you thinking my little boy."
DAMN I HATE WORDS.