I would have if I could have..

This new post is one such word clot that had been there in my heart and lung for a long time.
Problems disgust me. A larger, wider or smallish personal problems.. anything that torments my little brain, I instantly develop a repulsion from it. You may say that I am not the only one. But trust me I have encountered people around me who are 24x7 intent to help out people and change the things around them. I do appreciate it. But repulsion from getting into mess, be it mine or someone else's, is my incurable disease. And whenever I am questioned for my indifference, it's this one big lie that comes to my rescue. "I WOULD HAVE IF I COULD HAVE."
My intentions are selfish.. I know. But I crave for a life without worries which I do know is inaccessible. A life in seclusion from the wide world and it's unending worries is impossible.